The shape of it...

All of it...is supposed to be natural.

Sex is just supposed to happen like it is natural. When the mind is mentioned, it is usually described as the thing getting in the way.

Relax...relax...

The problem is both of us like self-control, actually I don't think this is a particularly kinky thing...just deviation from the natural is considered kinky, or isn't talked about.

I mean the alternative doesn't have to be tantra.
Where I want to be is just before the top of the crest. Just a nano-meter away from the drop. To get there and to stay there with someone takes a lot of skill.

My problem is...and this is a big problem because I don't want it to be this way...My problem is that he doesn't actually spend any time thinking or taking apart how sex works. He is still trying to please me, still projecting his negative feelings onto me or rather misreading submission as me not wanting sex.


The error in that statement is obvious. If I'm submissive and I don't want sex, either I'm in the wrong and there is something going on that he should know about. So the right thing to do is to find out....I wouldn't mind if he just assumed that I was being difficult, being treated as if I'm being difficult gives me permission to be an eel or a brat...both of which I suspect, annoy him, and he doesn't like it...but!

But eel and brat behavior have their place...

ah me, no time.
TBC.